The coherence between the family and school environment helps children to be happy. It is essential that parents establish a relationship of trust with their children. To achieve this, certain educational patterns and attitudes should be avoided because psychologists claim that they are dangerous for the development of children. Low involvement and insufficient monitoring Parents do not know what their children are doing and with whom. Sometimes they even know that their children have dangerous friendships, but they feel, or are indifferent to, unable to prevent, control, or control the situation.
Inconsistent discipline Parents do not maintain a consistent educational style; everyone has their own way of doing things, or they do not agree on the rules to apply at home or both. Children easily spot each parent's weaknesses and take advantage of them to manipulate them and take advantage of the situation.
Rigid and uncompromising discipline It is an education with a marked unilateral character. There is no negotiation, dialogue, or reasoning, and parents always react in the same way, regardless of the problem or the age of the children.
Angry and explosive discipline The most extreme case is child abuse. The adult strikes shouts and threatens, which can lead to aggressive and provocative behavior in the child, or, on the contrary, to extreme submission.
Trust: a pillar at home and at school As we have just seen, violent attitudes deeply damage the parent-child relationship, which must be based on trust. Confidence is indeed an essential pillar for the development of self-esteem and for healthy growth. The coherence between the parents' lifestyle and the values transmitted, the encouragement of communication, and the stimulation of the child's autonomy is essential to establish the foundations of a solid education. Attitudes of trust must be developed both in the family and school context. Educational psychology promotes and recommends consistency in this regard from the first years of cognitive development in children.
Consistency is found in human development and in the values that children receive at home, at school, and in the examples of life, they find in these two environments. This point is fundamental for them to discover rational coherence in their life, in their thoughts, and in their behaviors.
One of the aspects that most disrupts the growth of children is precisely the inconsistency between what is said and what is done, and the diversity of the principles taught at home and at school.
The synergies between these two environments stimulate the integral development of the child because at school he receives complimentary influences that serve to reinforce the education received at home.
When this complementarity breaks down or is absent and the differences in values offered at home and at school are very significant, the child may not adapt socially and suffer an imbalance in his development.
Article produced in collaboration with Javier Fiz Pérez, psychologist, professor of psychology at the European University of Rome, delegate for international scientific development and head of the scientific development department of the European Institute of Positive Psychology (IEPP).
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